Surviving the holidays when you're grieving the loss of your pet

Joelle Couture, VA, End-of-Life Pet Photographer

Losing a beloved pet is very difficult. Like the loss of a human being, a period of mourning is necessary. If this is the case for you, the holiday season may bring your grief to the forefront, and you may feel more alone and sad than usual. You think about all the good times you had with your furry friend and the last Christmas when they were still with you. Your emotions are running high, and that's normal. There is a lot of social pressure to feel happy, which can contribute to the guilt of feeling depressed during the festive season. If, on the other hand, this is a season that is usually full of joy for you, it can be hard to experience so much sadness at this time of the year. These tips will help you through this challenging time of grief.

  •   Find another way to stay connected  

If the holiday season is a time that is usually more difficult for you psychologically, your pet may have been your emotional support all these years. Without your pet, this time of year becomes painful again, in addition to the grief you are experiencing. You may want to isolate yourself, which is normal when you are going through this type of emotion. But the pain of grief combined with the sadness of the holiday season is a heavy burden that you should not carry alone. Force yourself to get out of your bubble to see friends and family, with or without pets. You will feel better afterward. You can also attend online or in-person support groups, volunteer, or visit shelters. Connecting with others has many benefits, and you will feel better.



  • Include your companion in your festive rituals  

Even if they are no longer with you physically, you can still include the pet you lost in your festive rituals. It will bring you great comfort during this time of significant loss. For example, have a picture of them framed and surround it with candles to light when you're putting up the tree, decorating your home, or cooking meals. It will be a way to include them in your traditions. You can also make or order a unique ornament in your pet's honor to hang on the tree. The whole family can share a beautiful memory with your pet at holiday meals to honor and remember them. Even if they didn't live with your companion, you'd be surprised how many lives your pet has touched around you. Your friends and family will also be grieving the loss of your pet and will be happy to share a memory or take a moment of silence in their honor. 


  • Lessen the burden of the holidays 

The holiday season, with its many activities and people to see and entertain, can be stressful and even seem like an insurmountable mountain to climb when you are grieving. But remember, you don't have to do anything. Especially not by yourself. If you feel comfortable doing so, talk to your loved ones and explain that you don't want to participate in all the activities this year. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you want to join in the festivities but don't have the energy. To help reduce the burden of chores, don't hesitate to use the following:   

-        A housekeeping agency to do the cleaning; 

-        A caterer to prepare meals if you are entertaining or visiting friends;  

-        A brokerage service to do your grocery shopping 

-        A holiday decorating service.  

There is no right or wrong way to celebrate or accomplish tasks during the holiday season. Follow your inner voice without worrying about what others think. It's not selfish to take care of yourself.


  • Take time for yourself. 

Taking time for yourself facilitates mental and emotional healing. By taking care of yourself and taking time to experience your emotions, you move forward on the path of grief. It is not linear or easy, but there is no way around it. An excellent way to experience your emotions is to write them down. Keeping your journal daily and getting your feelings out on paper will help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Some studies prove that this routine can help you to recover from a traumatic event and can even improve your immune function.



In conclusion, never forget that you are not alone. Many people are feeling the same emotions as you. Support groups with people with the same needs as you and experts can help you. Talking to people who understand what you are going through will make you feel better. You will find several valuable resources at the bottom of this article. Take the time to remember the good times you had with your pet this holiday season. They will always be in your heart to accompany you when you need them. Be kind to yourself and take one day at a time.

Happy Holidays.

Try to remember to stay connected. It will help you feel better.

This text was originally published in French on the webzine Flair & cie, on flairetcie.com

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