When The Time Comes
Céline Leheurteux, DVM
Your faithful companion, you give them all the love in the world, we know that. The simple fact of imagining that they will no longer share your daily life is painful. It's easier to just not think about it or hope it goes away in your sleep, isn't it?
Deciding where and when your beloved companion will leave your life is probably one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make. Here, I offer you some tips that can help you when the time comes.
Maybe you adopted them from a breeder, from a shelter, or did you give them a second chance? Do you remember that time when you were on your way to pick him up to take him home, your heart pounding with that burning desire to have an animal in your life. Absolutely nothing can replace the presence of an animal. It's a visceral need for you, we understand that.
She accepts you as you are, she listens to you, she understands you. You are good together, despite the difficulties, bad habits, illness, logistical and financial constraints. Your relationship is anything but ordinary. That's why the thought of losing her one day is so heartbreaking.
RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS
These small changes, which become more and more numerous with age, take place gradually. By taking care of your faithful companion every day, you lose some perspective on his situation. It starts with leaking urine one day, then several times a week and now it's every day. There are pee pads all over the floor now and you might be feeling guilty going out or even spending on yourself? It's a tough situation, but you can get used to anything, right?
Remember that animals are specialists in the art of “seizing the moment”. An animal will not tend to cry or complain as clearly as a human, because in the eyes of nature there is no point in showing weakness. He feels his pain in silence. One day, discreet signs surface: he no longer jumps on the bed, no longer climbs the stairs, no longer gets up when the door opens. When we are at this stage, we must put into perspective that this pain would be unbearable for a human.
Quality of life can deteriorate to the point where there are more bad days than good ones. Like those few moments where the animal goes into a waking state during the day to meet his vital needs.
The idea of letting him go then perhaps crosses your mind, but you feel a lot of guilt… After all, deciding to end our animal's pain is also about accepting the beginning of our own and preparing for the presence of absence.
When everything is mixed up in your head, that's when your veterinary team, who has the knowledge, the hindsight, and the perspective can guide you and inform your decision.
YOUR VETERINARY TEAM, PRESENT FOR YOU AT ALL STAGES OF ITS LIFE
For a sore paw, for a runny eye, to administer his annual vaccines or simply to trim her nails, you call on the professionals for questions much less heartbreaking than this. Veterinarians and animal health technicians are specialists, advisers who are there to support you in this ordeal and listen to you without judgment.
During a consultation, your veterinarian and her team will see, with your help, the changes that have occurred recently in your pet's life. They will be able to inform you about the existence and the costs of solutions that can remedy the problem that afflicts your companion. They can also suggest ways to improve your pet's quality of life and yours.
For example, it is common to hear: “He doesn't want to play anymore. He is old now”. The animal ages in its body before aging in its head. Often, a medical reason that causes pain causes your companion to stop playing, and not because he has simply gained in maturity. The veterinary team will identify the signs of aging that could give you clues about your pet's suffering and his current quality of life.
These little signs by which your pet shows you his pain can be difficult to interpret. However, your veterinary team is fluent in the non-verbal language of dogs or cats! The position of her head, facial expression, posture and way of lying down are all clues to detect discomfort in the animal. Once the diagnosis is made, there are many options. Your veterinarian is there to advise you according to your philosophy, the reality of your family, your schedule, physical or financial constraints. However, the decision remains yours. If you would like to learn more about the support of your veterinary team in end-of-life care and during euthanasia, visit euthabag.com/pet-loss.
TOOLS TO GUIDE YOU THROUGH YOUR DECISION-MAKING PROCESS
Even before consulting your veterinarian, when the first doubts arise in your mind, certain tools can guide your thinking about your pet's quality of life.
To take the weight of the changes that occur, different tools can help you:
Developed by the University of Ohio and adapted by the EUTHABAG team, this questionnaire allows you to assess your pet's quality of life and possibly discuss this subject with the family.
Using a simple calendar, evaluate with the + or – symbols how your pet feels daily and observe the trend at the end of the month. Has your pet had more good days or bad days this month?
The Gray Muzzle app for dogs and the Feline grimace scale app for cats allows you to keep perspective on developments with calendars and logbooks.
Just by looking at the photos you've taken of your pet over the past few months and years, you could see the extent of the changes in her sweet features.
You can get the full questionnaire here
QUESTIONS THAT CAN FUEL YOUR REFLECTION
Is my pet able to do his favorite activities?
Who are we keeping him alive for?
What would I want if I were in her place?
Is it possible that the situation will improve from now on?
How can I protect her dignity?
WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT
The bond between you and your pet is so strong that few people can understand the extent of your pain. Although, for now, nothing can fill the void left by his departure, these resources can help you sweeten your days.
The EUTHABAG site contains many more resources that can help you through this difficult situation.
No matter the situation, your veterinary team is there for you 💙 and it is all worth it because it is such a beautiful love story.